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如何做最好的自己
摄影:洪小漩
出镜:家人
若非老爸阑尾炎手术,我大抵是不会专门请假回家的。
凌晨,妈妈一个人在手术室外守候,而作为儿女的我们,却有着各自的理由,一时赶不回。先我们一步到的反而是堂姐和堂姐夫。
待我赶到家,爸爸已经在病房内,妈妈则负责每日送一顿饭去,只因为心疼爸爸会觉得医院食堂饭菜没味。但是,爸爸也不想让妈妈如此奔波,推说,最近横竖提不起劲来吃东西。
我回家的日子,和妈妈走在村中,打照面的人总会关心几句老爸的症状,寒暄病况,或者推荐自觉靠谱的医生。宗族的远近亲也会包个红包上门,妈妈无一例外全部退回。
她和我爸口径一致:今年大家生计艰难,再说又不是大病,不搞这些,都拿回去。
回杭前的最后半日,爸爸哪也不去,却坚持陪我去地里,要摘一些枇杷让我带回杭州。我说好。
路上,相邻和他打招呼,问,怎么那么快出院了。爸爸笑着回复,没事没事,小事小事。
其实,医生是让他静养,躺着别动,但是我也知道我多说无益,这一框枇杷,他是务必让我带回杭州的。
到了枇杷树下,看到大伯母正在自留地忙活。她忙对我爸说,你刚刚出院,别动,我来摘就好。说着,动作比我一个小年轻还利落,提着篮子就上树了。不一会儿,还有其他村民来帮忙。摘得正起劲,小伯母骑着电瓶车从地里经过,也来凑热闹,还帮我们将两筐沉甸甸的枇杷送回。等我们到家时,枇杷早已先我们一步到家了。
下午,妈妈又早早回来帮我淘了些土豆,回家顺手将蔬果装箱打包,为我返杭做最后准备。
在家中几日,我仿佛也没帮上什么忙,而是尽给家人添麻烦了。有时候,我也会想,为人父母,好不容易将儿女培育成人,见他们的身影渐行渐远,需要的时候,也未能在身边尽孝,这一场抚育的意义何在。
如果离开父母,是需要付出代价的话,我不知道当前平凡寡淡的生活,是否对得起告别故乡的选择。但是,能力有限的自己,却也是诚心实意地对生活低头,毕竟我只能做到这一步了。
保持微笑,努力工作,是我能做到最好的事了。
近期还看了纪录片《人生第一次》中的《成长》章节,片尾有道格拉斯·马拉赫的一首诗的选段,与君分享:
《做一个最好的你》(节选)
如果你不能成为山顶上的高松,
那就当棵山谷里的小树吧,
但要当棵溪边最好的小树。
如果你不能成为一棵大树,
那就当丛小灌木;
如果你不能成为一丛小灌木,
那就当一片小草地。
如果你不能是一只香獐,
那就当尾小鲈鱼,
但要当湖里最活泼的小鲈鱼。
我们不能全是船长,
必须有人也是水手。
这里有许多事让我们去做,
有大事,有小事,
但最重要的是我们身旁的事。
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