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她肯定要返回到那个有一排柱子的地方去的，小时候她在那里买过糖，看过刚打上来的鱼。可是母亲并不希望她经过那里。她晓得母亲的心思，那个曾经的他很可能还在那里生活。她隐约记得，那个穿着白衬衫的叫做阿远的年轻人，喝了酒醉醺醺的年轻人，对着母亲说，你来看我的笑话是不是？你这个撒谎的骗子。母亲低下头，牵着她的手仓皇逃离。
那天的阳光跟今天一样骄傲灿烂，把她照得暖暖的。她知道母亲本来要等他三年的，可是，母亲只等了一年。她在想，如果母亲等了他三年那会怎样，首先这个世界上就不会有自己了吧。
母亲说，阿远可能过得不太好。
母亲说，阿远可能还在恨她。
母亲说，你长得太像当年的我。
母亲说，你们这一代人太幸福了，什么都可以自己做主，想爱就爱，不爱了就分开，潇洒，自由，什么都不重要，自己永远排第一。
她坐到了没有房子的店铺前，比地摊多了一些规模，她买了几颗糖，细细咀嚼，味道还是当年一样，又甜又腻。母亲说自己那一代小姑娘还会收集糖纸呢。的确，很漂亮。
她靠着巨大的柱子看书，小时候她可喜欢看书了。其实看书是个掩饰，因为她偷偷拿到了阿远当年给母亲的信，母亲虽然藏得很深，深到她自己应该忘记了吧，在断舍离活动中把藏它的盒子给扔了。
她只是好奇而已。她读到了欢笑，读到了眼泪。她看不到母亲当年写给阿远的信，她无法得知故事的另一半。
有渔船靠岸，陆陆续续地上来一些中年男子，他们和坐在长凳上嗑瓜子聊天的妇人说笑，她不知道，其中会不会有个叫阿远的。他们棕红或黄黑的面孔，看不出任何年轻的风采。他们的心，可能在风吹雨打里变得麻木死寂。也许那个阿远还会想起几十年前的自己，也许他还爱着某个人，也许他还在带着对她的恨意生活。
她想知道答案，又不敢知道答案。因为她觉得自己的命运也是有答案的，知道别人的答案，也就知道了自己的答案。这不是她喜欢的。要是我看穿了未来的一切，那该多无趣啊。我愿意去轰轰烈烈地爱或者被爱，像书里写的那样。
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